A Murder in Dallas

Mr. Pigeon was the victim of a hit and run yesterday. This is very sad. My daughter and I went out last night at exactly 11:59 pm to walk BoB and to stop by and say.."Hey Mr. Pigeon, how are you doing?". But, when we got to Mr. Pigeon's crib..we found him murdered.

Every night Mr. Pigeon would sleep in the same spot of grass by the old Allied Printing Co. building. Poor Mr Pigeon..he was handicapped, and couldn't fly like other pigeons. During the day he'd pigeon-walk across this little back alley street and feast on nightclub leftovers, and then as the sun went down, he'd return to his crib across the street. But yesterday was different. He never did get back to his home. He was about 10 pigeon-steps away from his front yard, when he was taken down. How could this happen?

Immediately, my daughter and I went to work. We sectioned off the area with Crime Scene tape, drew the chalk outline of Mr. Pigeon's body, and searched for clues. We collected all the appropriate samples and questioned some 'people of interest'. Due to limited resources, such as lack of a little pigeon body bag and ice, etc. we decided to perform the autopsy on sight. First of all, we determined the time of death to be around 10pm. His stomach contents included undigested crickets and some seed. Nothing suspicious making it easy to rule out death caused by poisoning. We sent out tissue and blood samples to the lab to test for the presence of drugs in his system. Could he have been under the influence of narcotics? Heroine? Crack? Ice? Meth? I hope not. Maybe Mr. Pigeon was just a little tipsy, considering he was leaving the nightclub when this happened. We found no violation or trauma to his vent-holes, so thankfully sexual assault can be ruled out. So what happened? After reconstructing the final hours of Mr. Pigeon's life, we were able to successfully determine the cause of death.

These are the FACTS:

Approximatly at 5pm, Mr. Pigeon was eating at the back door of the men's club..(hee-hee, I said back door of men's club..hee-hee, eating...tossed salad anyone?)..Around the time of 8pm, Mr. Pigeon's routine was interruppted by the unexpected arrival of transient pigeons. They must have partied together for more than an hour, which therefore delayed the time of Mr. Pigeon's travel back home. Under normal circumstances, he would be crossing the street in the daylight hours, but this night..this crazy night of pigeon partying madness.. he would have to cross in the dark. Suddenly..all the pieces of the puzzle came together for us. Could it be? Could it really be the big Jeep Wrangler parked on top of his head? I think so.. Mr. Watson. How could we have missed such an important key clue? At 12:01am, we finally had closure. We were at peace, although still very heartbroken. We closed this case... "Murder by Jeep"...those bastards! Mr. Pigeon will be missed.

What a bummer..I can't walk down that street now for a while..because really..the City of Dallas will never clean that up, and it takes a bird a long time to naturally dissolve into the pavement. Gross.

Latererer,

Donna