Paint It Pink

What were the dart transit workers thinking? C'mon now boys...REALLY? All the millions of city dollars spent to make pretty sidewalks and pretty everything.. you guys see a dog crap on the new sidewalk and decide to paint it pink? Didn't your mama teach you not to play with poo?

Hmmm..I hear a song coming on..imagine the Rolling Stone's song "Paint it Black"..and then sing this..

I see a dog poop and I want it painted pink

No odors anymore I want them to turn pink

I see the dogs walk by dressed in their silly clothes

I have to turn my head until my laughter goes

I see a line of turds and they're all painted pink

With green grass and my dog both gone in just one blink

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away

Like a new born baby it just happens every day

I look inside myself and see my heart just sink

I see my dog's poop and must have it painted pink

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to ever think

It's not easy facin' up when your dog's poop is pink

No more could my dog's poo be turned a deeper blue

I could not foresee this thing happening to poo

If the poo gets ripe enough in the settin' sun

My dog will run-off with me before the neighbors come

I see a dog poop and I want it painted pink

No odors anymore I want them to turn pink

I see the dogs go by dressed in their silly clothes

I have to turn my head until my laughter goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm,...Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

You get my point.

Latererer,

Donna

A Murder in Dallas

Mr. Pigeon was the victim of a hit and run yesterday. This is very sad. My daughter and I went out last night at exactly 11:59 pm to walk BoB and to stop by and say.."Hey Mr. Pigeon, how are you doing?". But, when we got to Mr. Pigeon's crib..we found him murdered.

Every night Mr. Pigeon would sleep in the same spot of grass by the old Allied Printing Co. building. Poor Mr Pigeon..he was handicapped, and couldn't fly like other pigeons. During the day he'd pigeon-walk across this little back alley street and feast on nightclub leftovers, and then as the sun went down, he'd return to his crib across the street. But yesterday was different. He never did get back to his home. He was about 10 pigeon-steps away from his front yard, when he was taken down. How could this happen?

Immediately, my daughter and I went to work. We sectioned off the area with Crime Scene tape, drew the chalk outline of Mr. Pigeon's body, and searched for clues. We collected all the appropriate samples and questioned some 'people of interest'. Due to limited resources, such as lack of a little pigeon body bag and ice, etc. we decided to perform the autopsy on sight. First of all, we determined the time of death to be around 10pm. His stomach contents included undigested crickets and some seed. Nothing suspicious making it easy to rule out death caused by poisoning. We sent out tissue and blood samples to the lab to test for the presence of drugs in his system. Could he have been under the influence of narcotics? Heroine? Crack? Ice? Meth? I hope not. Maybe Mr. Pigeon was just a little tipsy, considering he was leaving the nightclub when this happened. We found no violation or trauma to his vent-holes, so thankfully sexual assault can be ruled out. So what happened? After reconstructing the final hours of Mr. Pigeon's life, we were able to successfully determine the cause of death.

These are the FACTS:

Approximatly at 5pm, Mr. Pigeon was eating at the back door of the men's club..(hee-hee, I said back door of men's club..hee-hee, eating...tossed salad anyone?)..Around the time of 8pm, Mr. Pigeon's routine was interruppted by the unexpected arrival of transient pigeons. They must have partied together for more than an hour, which therefore delayed the time of Mr. Pigeon's travel back home. Under normal circumstances, he would be crossing the street in the daylight hours, but this night..this crazy night of pigeon partying madness.. he would have to cross in the dark. Suddenly..all the pieces of the puzzle came together for us. Could it be? Could it really be the big Jeep Wrangler parked on top of his head? I think so.. Mr. Watson. How could we have missed such an important key clue? At 12:01am, we finally had closure. We were at peace, although still very heartbroken. We closed this case... "Murder by Jeep"...those bastards! Mr. Pigeon will be missed.

What a bummer..I can't walk down that street now for a while..because really..the City of Dallas will never clean that up, and it takes a bird a long time to naturally dissolve into the pavement. Gross.

Latererer,

Donna

Big Brown Bag

I haven't blogged in a while because my mind has been cluttered with family drama, so I'm going to think beyond all of that mess..and write-on....dude.

I'm still waiting for that drawing for that "Smart Car" raffle..3 more days to go. I've been to NorthPark a couple more times since that day. Visiting NorthPark Mall reminds me of a news story that aired a few weeks ago. It was about how they arrested some guys for doing 'sex acts' in the men's bathroom. Then the news guys needed to show some shoppers who were completely SHOCKED that something like this was happening at their perfect hoity-toity NorthPark Mall.

My response would have been..'ooooohhh now C'mon!!!' This sort of thing has been happening at NorthPark for over 25 years! I really thought everybody knew that if you went in the men's rooms at NorthPark, you literally needed to 'watch your back'. So I will clue-in all you men out there who don't know about the real show! It has been a fact that when you go in the men's room, and see a pair of feet in one of the potty stalls, if there is a shopping bag next to those feet, there is a high probability that there are another pair of feet standing in the shopping bag. That's just how they roll. So now you know.

CASA Houses at NorthPark

Today I went by NorthPark Mall to purchase raffle tickets for playhouses. These aren't your ordinary playhouses. These are special..very special. I think I could live in one of these playhouses. These seriously kick-ass!! You won't find Bobby Brady reading dirty magazines in there. These are for hardcore players. No Barbies Allowed!!

Besides, the money collected from the raffle tickets go to an organization called CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates for abused and neglected children)..so really, you can't go wrong. Even if you don't win, you know your money went to a good place.

For more information on CASA go to http://www.dallascasa.org/

For information about the playhouses at NorthPark go to http://www.dallascasaplayhouses.org/

At this website, you can view each of the 14 artfully created playhouses displayed. You can also avoid the mall traffic by purchasing tickets online. Raffle tickets are $5 each, or 5 tickets for $20. But, as I did, you can buy 12 tickets for $50. You also choose which playhouses you want your name entered into. The $50 option includes one special raffle ticket for the "Smart Car Playhouse", which includes the car. I want that car. I want that car for one reason..I want to paint it. I want to paint it like one of those "Little Tikes" play cars just like the one I have pictured. I can imagine myself cruising the streets of Dallas. Maybe I can dress up like Mrs. Potato-Head too, but then again, I don't know if my giant spud of a head could fit in that car. That car is so small, that if you hit a speed bump too fast in that car, you'd be wearing your ass-cheeks as a hat. I don't understand how people can really take themselves seriously while driving in that "Smart Car". Is it THAT 'Smart' to be sharing a road with other cars that are rolling with rims bigger than your car? I think that the biggest safety feature on the "Smart Car" is it's license plate. But if you want to relate the "Smart Car" as describing your own intelligence, then I could see my daughter driving that. I had my own car in highschool that I would call the "Below Average Car". That was my Chrysler Cardoba...yellow..my car was yellow when yellow wasn't cool.

Oh yes, and the raffle drawing is August 23rd at 4pm at the NorthCourt between Nordstrom and Macy's. You don't need to be present to win.

Latererererer,

Donna

Menopause the Musical

Well last night I went to see 'Menopause the Musical'...and I have to admit, I really liked it. It started off a bit quirky, and we didn't know what to think at first. I know that when I glanced over at my friend Terry during the opening of show, she gave me that look that could take us both down to the giggle and snorts level of hysteria that we can get ourselves into at the most inappropriate times. My wedding 18 years ago was one of those times. Terry was my Maid of Honor, and when the pastor said 'be fruitful and multiply'..he didn't know that I was already pregnant with TWINS (the twins is an entirely other story)!! But Terry was well aware of that fact. So when he said that and I then glanced over to Terry..she started the giggle-snorts, which started me doing the giggle-snorts for the remainder of the wedding vows. Yep..very inappropriate..but it was pretty funny.

Anyhow..back to the musical... about 15 minutes into the show, it started turning around. So I would have to recommend it to all women to go see this. I really don't think men would be so inclined to go. Although the few men that did go, they did look to be enjoying it. I think particularly the older gentleman that was sitting in the front row, who really must have enjoyed it. The one actress that played the sexy soap star, came down off the stage as she was singing 'I'm Having a Hot Flash..a tropical Hot Flash" to the tune of 'Heat Wave'. She walked up to this man and straddled him while running her fingers through his white and thinning hair, as she continued singing. I think he had a reason to remain sitting for at least 15 minutes after that little simulation. Woo-hooo!!!

That reminds me of another time at an Alice Cooper concert.

About 10 years ago I went to see Alice Cooper, and I managed to get right up in front of the stage. But..you know there always has to be the girls who feel the need to show off their ta-ta's at concerts..and that night there were 2 of them...front and center. Alice Cooper did the cool thing, and ignored those boobs, and wouldn't stand in front of them. Apparently Alice Cooper was the only one ignoring them, because as these 2 girls stood there for the entire show with their shirts rolled-up, the Stage Security dude's pants started growing. Now let me tell you...this security dude was a big black guy..and I'm not just talking about his belly being big!! At that moment I could see what 'pitching a tent' really meant. This guy's tent was sooo big, he could sleep a family of 4 in there!! Oh my..the dick-ache this man must have had. He had to untuck his white oxford shirt just to "try" to cover-up all the business going on down in his pants. Thank God for pleated pants..but soon even the pleats couldn't hold THAT back. Poor Alice Cooper got upstaged by an enormous woody. That was FUNNY! And I know I wasn't the only one who noticed!!

So back to the subject..Yes, women need to go see 'Menopause the Musical'. It's playing at the Eisemann Center in Richardson through September 27th. It's easy to get to, and easy to park. Tickets are $45, and parking last night was $4. Check out the links:

http://www.menopausethemusical.com/ and to puchase tickets go to http://www.eisemanncenter.com/

The photo was a scene from the musical that I snagged off their website.

Laterererr,

Donna

Can't U Smell That Smell?

Downtown Dallas smells like ASS tonight. For those of you who don't know, and may be wondering..'who farted', it's the Trinity River that farted! What in the hell is IN that river? Nights like this, when the breeze is just right..the sweet ass smells of the Trinity come rolling through.

What I don't understand is why there are people fishing in that septic tank of a river. I mean really..those can't be real fish swimming in there. They're more like floating turds with scales and eyeballs. If I were a fish in the Trinity River, I would dream of the day I could find a hook to swallow so to put an end to my little fishy hell on earth.

laterererer,

Donna

Control Freak

Yesterday was a busy day..so.. as you can see, I blew off the blog spot. Interesting night though. I actually went to an Al-Anon meeting down on Midway and Royal ln. I had many misconceptions of what Al-Anon really was all about. I thought is was going to be a 'boo-hoo' whiney meeting for friends and families of addicts that would assist you in how you can help those addicts. The meeting turned out to be such an eye-opening experience.

Let me explain: I do know a few friends that have 'partied hard' in the 80's, and never stopped. One friend in particular has struggled with alcohol and cocaine. After he destroyed the inside of his nose from snorting coke for so many years, he found that it would work better to switch to smoking crack! It is a baffling, destructive, sickness. I have done everything I could do to help him over the last 3 years, from him being homeless and living on the roof of a convenient store eating an occasional pigeon or dumpster diving, to what I would now consider a clean-cut productive human being. He could write a book about everything he's been through, and I could write one too, by just explaining everything I've done to help him. He's had times of sobriety in these last few years, along with many relapses.

Needless to say, I was WORN OUT trying to help him. I can tell you where crack houses are all over Dallas. I can tell you what streets you go to, to buy crack. I know the phone numbers of dealers, and I know the lingo. I know so much about crack, that you'd think that I smoked crack myself. Thank you GOD..that I know how evil and cunning addictions can be..and I've never ever been tempted to try it. But, I'm here to tell you today, that as heartbreaking and exhausting it is to see a friend or family member deal with these powerful addictions, that there IS help for YOU.

AT this particular Al-Anon meeting they use "The Big Book" just like the AA meeting does. The difference is that you remove the word "alcoholic" and replace it with the words "control freak".

WHAT?? CONTROL FREAK???? That's EXACTLY what I've been doing..being a control freak..and trying to dictate what he and a lot of other people in my life MUST do. If you remove that idea that you must get into everyone else's business, and control them, it's like a HUGE dark cloud hovering over you is being lifted away. They have you work the 12 steps just as they do in AA. I still have to do the steps, but I can completely see how this will help me. If you, or anyone you know needs help, just ask me. I'm seriously feeling that calm and serenity thing...I'm just bummed-out that it took me so long to find it.

Well hmmm..this blog wasn't that funny at all..what a drag. But tonight I'm taking myself and my menopause friend..along with my 73 yr old mom (menopsause x30 yrs) and my 93 yr old grandma (menopause x40++ yrs) to "Menopause the Musical" at the Eisemann Center in Richardson. I'll let you know if it's any good later..but this is most defintely what I would call a 'Girls Night Out'. I'll feel great sorrow for any man that I see tricked into seeing this.



latererererr,

Donna

"Fab to Flab" story

Holy crap!! I woke up this morning and mistakenly turned on the wrong channel (I normally watch the local news). ANYHOW...ABC news had a story called "From FAB to FLAB". It's about a personal trainer who gained 90 pounds to feel empathetic for his clients and the struggles they go through being overweight. He went from underwear model dude to.. soft and pudgy dude in 6 months.

If you didn't catch it this morning, then click on the link. Just be patient while watching the advertisement (most appropriately for cholesterol drugs) that runs before the story.

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8291573

Okay..so after I saw this story I went to the Weight Watchers website in a panic. I don't want to be like that fat dude. I can feel my body bloating-up day by day. My body has turned into middle-age mush in what seems like overnight! I found a picture of me from 15 years ago..5' 8" and 120 pounds (and that was 10 months after having my daughter)..to a whopping 180 pounds as of today! This just fricken SUCKS! So back to the Weight Watchers Website..it's changed. What was once so simple to use by tracking your 'points', is now a jumbled overload of weight- loss hell. The only thing I could figure out was where to find a meeting. So I packed up my gym clothes (to burn off more fat after the meeting) and went on my desperate search for a diet and some motivation. I've never been to a Weight Watchers meeting before, so this was all new to me. Needless to say..I thought it sucked. Describing it would be mean, so I won't go there. But there WAS a destinctive smell that I also could describe, but again..that would be mean. I did purchase $30 of Weight Watchers paraphernalia though...sucker!

Note to self: 08.10.09 - Weight 180 pounds (top weight).. weight loss goal = 55 pounds

Photo : Me and Jen 08.13.94 (me with my effortlessly tiny waistline 15 years ago, back when I didn't appreciate it..now I want it BACK!!!).

Laterererer,

Donna

The Deep Ellum Wall

It's nearly finished.....the 'new' wall that lines Good Latimer as you enter the land of Deep Ellum. Only a couple of Artists left finishing their work at night. I feel bad for those guys (and girls) who worked so hard in this heat, all the while having to step in dog crap. The grass in front of the wall is prime potty spot turf, and I think maybe 10% of those dog owners ever bother with picking up their dog's turd-biscuits. The smell alone can get pretty ripe when there is no breeze. Maybe some strange awakening will happen to dog owners...maybe..just maybe they'll start poop scooping after this wall of art is finished. Personally I think someone should invent big sacks that hang off a dog's ass to catch the poop...ya' know, just like the ass sacks on those carriage ride horses. My dog BoB tends to get pretty embarrassed about pooping though, so that wouldn't work for him. At least he doesn't doo-doo his business in front of the wall..too many cars driving by..he needs quiet, tall grass, and a lot of concentration. That's good to know, huh?

Enough about the poo-grass in front of the wall..check out the pics of the wall so far..

Why Blog?

Hmmm..why have I started this blog? I'm not one of those people that like to hear themselves talk. Believe me..I KNOW a few of those kind of people. I blog because I am constantly thinking of things to write. By spending my energy on this blog, I will lift the burden for my friends, whom I slam with heavy and lengthy emails.

Will anyone be reading this? I don't know. It's okay if I'm the only one reading this, because I like to amuse myself. I also promised myself to start following through with things I start. I've a a BIG problem with starting butt-loads of projects, and never finishing them. Time for things to change.

I don't have a 9 to 5 normal job. I spend a lot of time walking around with my dog BoB. I live in a loft in downtown Dallas..smack in-between the Arts District and Deep Ellum. Taking long walks with BoB, and seeing the progression of how Dallas is changing is exciting. Ten years ago, downtown really sucked. We had the West End which started to fizzle and of course Deep Ellum started turning into a ghost town. There really was no reason to come downtown.

NOW..it is turning around. Construction is near it's completion of the incredible Dallas Performing Arts Center, which will be bringing 4 Broadway Musicals to Dallas this season. Deep Ellum is coming back to life. Even the club TREES on Elm St. just re-opened. The Prophet Bar has also re-opened in a new location on Elm St. near Good Latimer. As I drove down Lower Greenville the other night, I noticed so many new build-outs going on for new restaurants and bars. ..it's alive..IT'S ALIVE!!!!

I can here the ching-ching(doubt that's the sound) of money..as my real estate is going up in price. Now is the time to buy a place downtown..that is if it's not too late. I got my little loft 2 years ago for $110,000, and now I see another loft in this same building up for sale at $268,000!! Although I think it's still a bit premature for that high price, there are still great deals to be had around here. Dallas ROCKS!!!

"Traveling Man" pics

The walk was hot and sweaty, my dog Bob is wiped-out and so am I!! But... they briefly had the 'Guitar Playing Traveling Man' (not yet finished) exposed with his 'tarp down'. Snagged that pic, along with the pic of the 38 ft 'Traveling Man' while the workmen were taking a break. Very cool...

Deep Ellum 'Traveling Man'

Have you seen the new changes to Deep Ellum yet? I look out my loft window and see the ever present 38 foot "Traveling Man" coming to life at Swiss Ave. and Good Latimer. His gigantica legs are mostly now covered in polished steel. They just need to finish off the rest of his body. Men, cranes, and blow torches in this 100+ degree heat working fast to beat a deadline for the big opening of the Deep Ellum Dart Train Station extention. I'm amazed! I think I'll walk my dog BoB by the MAN and take a pic to post.

The work looks to be done on the 'Guitar Playing Traveling Man' who sits at the corner of Good Latimer and Gaston. He remains covered by a tarp..maybe waiting for his big day to show? I'm waiting for the 3rd "Traveling Man" to make an appearance on the corner of Elm St. and Good Latimer. They have had the foundation poured, but still no sign of the "Traveling Man's" Head that is supposed to be coming up from the earth. I can't wait to see that one!

Such awesome sculptures. I have to admit, that during the beginning stages of construction, I thought.."what the hell is that?". But if you ever got a peak of the finished "Traveling Man" playing guitar sculpture under that tarp, you too would be very impressed.

Such a great addition to Deep Ellum. It is so good to see Deep Ellum coming back to life.

Time to explore the streets with BoB...